For my second post I am going to share me testimony. I grew up in Christian home and heard the Gospel many times as I grew older. One Easter Sunday morning when I was almost nine, I realized it wasn’t enough that I believed in God, I needed Him to be my personal Savior. I realized that I could never be good enough on my own and that I was going to hell. In my seat, in the middle of the church service, I prayed and asked Jesus to come into my heart and save me from my sins, make me clean inside and prepare a place for me in heaven. And right then and there, I knew I was saved. God gave me peace in my heart, and I started my Christian journey.
As I grew older, the Lord worked in my heart and I started to understand more of what a Christian life should be. He showed me through His Word and through my parents how my life and communication should reflect the personality of Christ. I struggled with letting the Lord control my life; I was bossy and wanted to be in control. I struggled with the sin of rebellion throughout my teen years, constantly kicking against God given authority to be in charge. Since I didn’t trust Him to lead me, I didn’t mature as a Christian like I should have and ended up feeling guilty and wondering why God would want me as His daughter. I was able to talk to a Godly teacher in college and he gave me some verses to look up and asked me to read a book called, “A Shepherd Looks at Psalms 23” by Phillip Keller. God did a work in my life and I started to understand how important I was to Him, me personally. I wasn’t just another faceless voice crying out to Him. I was His, and He was mine and He was my Shepherd and as I trusted in Him, nothing could ever really harm me. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t have hard times or trials, it meant that no matter where I was or what I had done He was there and He loved me and wanted me to succeed.
The Lord continued to work in my heart and to teach me to trust Him only, as I got married and later as my husband got sick. It was during the time of my husband’s illness that I learned to depend on God and to continue in His strength in a very personal way. There were many times during his illness that I didn’t want to get out of bed, much less focus on what needed to be done, but as I cried out to God for help and strength He gave them freely and without holding back. Psa 18:2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. It is well said that, “The level of our anxiety reflects the level of our prayerlessness,” and there is a direct correlation to this in my life, then and now. There were times that I wondered why we were going through this trial. I would pray and ask God, why us? Why are you doing this? I couldn’t see a reason for this trial and it discouraged me. Then I heard a sermon and the Lord spoke to me through it and I realized that God has a specific plan for my life and a reason for everything He does. It was wonderful to realize that His plans didn’t change and He was never surprised, He knew what he was doing, He was my shepherd.
The Lord continues to work in my life and draw me after Him. There are times when I lose sight of the goal, and the Lord, my Shepherd rebukes me and sets me back on the path. Through it all, He cares for me, in His strength I live to be more like Him. Psa 48:14 For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.
